KEEPING ABREAST OF THE SITUATION
by Heartwings
Summary: Light reading written in response to the challenge to write a J/C story featuring the line "I do so wish my breasts would stop staring at your eyes".


**KEEPING ABREAST OF THE SITUATION**

Chakotay struggled with the tangled rappelling ropes overhead until he finally gave up. "It's no use, Kathryn, they're hopelessly snarled up on that dead tree branch jutting out, we're stuck!"

"No, we're not! You give up too easily, Chakotay." Kathryn kicked herself out from the cliff and tried to untangle their lines, to no avail. She tried the maneuver again and it only served to more thoroughly tangle their lines and smack her into Chakotay. "Ooof! Sorry! OK, I admit it, we're stuck!" She looked up and down to survey their situation. They were about one hundred meters above the ground and at least twice that far from the top of the cliff, fortunately safely secured in their rappelling harnesses. She looked at Chakotay and grinned, "Well, do you have any brilliant ideas?"

He looked up and then down before he jiggled the ropes again. "Not exactly. I suppose we could call the ship and have them beam someone down to help us or transport us out of here?"

Kathryn wiggled the ropes again and roared in frustration, "Aargh! Oh no, I'm not about to let anyone find out about this, we'd never live it down. Come on and think, there has to be some way to get untangled and get down."

They just hung there, about a foot apart, face to face, for another ten minutes in the hot sun as each would occasionally work at the ropes, without success. When one of them tried to push off the face of the cliff with their feet to get up some momentum, it only resulted in a nasty smack into the rocks or, worse yet, each other. Chakotay grunted in frustration as he tried to bounce and free his line. "Kathryn, I really think it's time to call for help. Face it, if we don't beam back or check in on schedule, they'll send someone down here to find us, so they're going to find out about this either way. If I get a vote, I say let's concede and call the ship rather than hang here and roast in the hot sun for another hour or two."

"Damn!" she swore. "All right, you do have a point and I suppose you're right; I'll call for help." Kathryn struggled to reach into the pocket of her shorts for her com badge, the straps on her safety harness making the task extremely difficult. She wiggled and shimmied in her harness and finally managed to fish it out. "Janeway to... oh shit!" she gasped as she dropped the com badge and it fell to the desert floor one hundred meters below. She looked at Chakotay and grinned. "Oops, my hand was sweaty and it slipped out. Get your com badge and please be careful, for heaven sakes don't drop it!"

He returned her grin, "Not much chance of that, Kathryn, it's in my duffel bag, that's sitting on a rock on top of the cliff."

"No way! Oh, jeez, Chakotay, if I'd wanted to go rappelling with an idiot, I would have invited Neelix!"

"Thanks a lot, Kathryn! I'm sorry, I knew you had yours so I didn't worry about it. I guess we just get to hang around and wait for someone to rescue us now... and exactly whose idea was it to beam down to the planet and jump off a three hundred twenty seven meter tall cliff?"

She gave him a smirk. "I didn't force you to come with me, you know! You seemed rather excited about the idea as I recall."

"Excited? Yes, but it wasn't exactly the rappelling that excited me, Kathryn." He gave her a good look as his eyebrows did the tango with his dimples. "Those tight little shorts and that tank top you're almost wearing had a lot to do with it. Dressed like that, you could have invited me to beam down here to have my toenails ripped out and I would have said yes."

"Oh really? I'll have to keep that in mind next time I need to order someone to go in a cave and see if there's any Vidiians in it. Chakotay, come on, think of some way to get us unstuck before they miss us. You know who's on duty now and who'll no doubt be the one they send down here after us and there is no way in hell I want Tom Paris finding out about this!"

He looked up and surveyed the ropes once again as he spoke, "Trust me, Kathryn, I'd rather trade clothes with Neelix for a week than have Tom Paris find out we got stuck! I have an idea, it looks like my rope is hung up on that branch less than yours. Why don't you grab onto me and climb up on me enough that your rope has some slack. Maybe with your weight on my rope it will be enough and it'll break that branch and they'll untangle."

She looked up and considered the possibilities. "Well, OK, makes about as much sense as anything!" Kathryn wrapped her arms and legs around him, trying to get a good enough hold so she could shimmy up him enough to put slack on her rope and put their combined weight on his. They were both so sweaty that she kept slipping and sliding back down. "Ooof! You're enjoying this, aren't you? Wipe that grin off your face and help me... and watch where you put your hands, Mister!"

"Ump! My hands are all sweaty and you're too slippery! I'm sorry, Kathryn, but I'm gonna have to grab your buns and give you a good boost upwards, I don't see any other way." He dug his fingers in and gave her a mighty shove, which enabled her to press herself above his shoulders for a second and slacken her rope. The branch cracked slightly under the additional weight and they lowered a bit and did their best to bob up and down, but the branch refused to break entirely. Finally Kathryn lost her hold and let go of Chakotay until she was once again hanging only from her own rope. Their maneuver had lengthened his rope a bit and his head was now a little over a foot lower than it had been, smack dab in the middle of the cleavage her tank top provided. Chakotay looked up and jiggled his rope again and moaned. He looked back down, "Oh well, it was worth a try... and I dare say I like the view a lot better now."

She struggled with her rope again, looked down at him and smirked, "I do so wish my breasts would stop staring at your eyes!"

Chakotay looked up at her face. "Dammit, Kathryn, what do you expect me to look at? Those THINGS are right in my face!"

She tugged at the thin straps on her little tank top, "I can't help it, trying to climb up you and being soaked with sweat stretched out the straps! It doesn't want to stay up now, damn I wish I'd worn a T shirt instead or at least worn a bra under this top!"

"Oh, no, Kathryn, you don't need a bra, you look good, really good! You're so firm, are those things... natural?"

She kicked at him, which swung her back, skinned her knee on a rock then smashed her breasts into Chakotay's face as they collided. He smiled. She screamed, "Argh! Of course they're real, if they were fake don't you think they'd be bigger? Why is it you men have such a fascination with breasts anyhow?"

"I don't know, I think it's something carried on the Y chromosome. I like your breasts, Kathryn, they don't need to be bigger. Not all guys think bigger is better, you know."

"Chakotay, can't we talk about something besides my boobs? You say one more word and I'll remind you of just where my knees are right now!"

"OK, OK, no need for that, you might be glad that stuff is there some day! I'll just hang here, keep my mouth shut and enjoy the natural beauty this 'planet' has to offer." Kathryn cussed and fussed under her breath for she really had no choice in the matter.

They hung there in the hot sun for almost an hour until they heard Tom's voice yell down at them from the top of the cliff. Totally embarrassed, they tried to blame their predicament on faulty equipment and not a lack of skill. Fortunately Tom was smart enough to agree with them. He had the ship beam down more rappelling equipment, rigged up another set of lines, rappelled down and safely brought Kathryn down to the base of the cliff with him.

"Oh, thank you, Tom!" she gushed as she got used to standing on her feet again. "It's so hot, I thought I'd die up there!"

He took her arm to steady her as he gave her a bottle of water. "No problem, Captain, and I'm sure you're right and those lines are defective. It looks like you skinned your knee pretty good, Ma'am. Why don't you beam directly to sick bay to get it fixed and I'll get Chakotay down and send him right up to get checked out too."

"Thanks, Tom." Kathryn gave him a very lopsided smile, retrieved her com badge from where it had fallen and beamed back to the ship.

Tom looked up at Chakotay. "Hold on, Buddy, let me beam back to the top and I'll have your feet safely on the ground in just a couple minutes."

Chakotay kicked out from the cliff and started descending. "Don't bother, I'll be right there!" He landed on the ground with a thump, peeled of his safety harness and drank down the bottle of water Tom offered.

Tom looked at him in disbelief. "Chak, man, if you weren't stuck too, why didn't you come down, pick up the com badge and call for help?"

"I was stuck, Tom... well, stuck until about an hour ago. She added her weight to my line and it untangled it from the tree, but hers was still tangled. I...uh... I had my reasons for staying up there."

"Are you nuts?"

Chakotay gave him a grin. "Think about it, Tom! She was wearing that skimpy little top with stretched out straps that was plastered to her and almost see through with sweat, and her chest was right in my face. If it had been you up there with B'Elanna, tell me, what would you have done?"

Tom laughed sadistically. "OK, I see you had your reasons, two very good ones! I hope you realize, if she finds out about this, she's going to kill you."

"Tom, my good friend, she is NOT going to find out about this, right? RIGHT?"

Tom scratched his head as he thought. "Fifty replicator rations."

"Forty!" Chakotay offered.

"Forty five," Tom countered.

"Deal!"

"Deal!" They shook hands.

**THE END**


End file.
